Elect Lady's Corner

Biblical Wisdom In Plain English

What Makes A Friend A Friend?

Audio Version

I was reading an article in Business Insiders that was talking about “friends.” And I was surprised to find the results given after a poll. The question was asked: “How long does it take to become a friend?” The response given by the poll was: “It takes 40 to 60 hours to form a casual relationship, 80 to 100 hours to be upgraded to being a friend, and about 200 hours to become “good friends.” That was very shocking to me! I would have thought it took years to become a friend. 

But the article also stated you should look for 7 signs in a true friend: 1) They accept you for who you are (even your quirks and imperfections), 2) They stick around for the good times and the bad times. 3) They celebrate life with you (i.e. they’re honestly glad for you when you accomplish goals). 4) They make time to see you. (They see you as a priority and they will set aside time to call you, stop by, or jump on a plane to visit you). 

5) They will tell you the truth even if you don’t like it. (They value you and are concerned about you making right choices.) 6) They encourage you to achieve your goals. (They motivate you to be successful). 7) You enjoy being around them because you can just be yourself. (Whether in your quiet time, just having fun, or serious conversations).  Sounds like good qualities for a husband wife relationship!
So, what does the Bible say about friendship? Proverbs 17:17 said: “A Friend loveth at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.” Proverbs 17:17 NLT said: “A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.” Which means, a true friend is one that is constant at all times. Not a fare weather friend that are there for you in the summer of your life but desert you during your winter seasons. 

Some people can be your friend for what you have but reject you as a friend because of what you don’t have according to Proverbs 14:20 which said: “The poor is hated even of his own neighbour, But the rich hath many friends.” People who were once your friends in certain seasons in your life, may not be your friends in the next season of your life! 

But before we go in search of a true friend, we must first acknowledge our greatest incomparable friend, that knows everything about us good and bad, all our failures, our disloyalty to Him, although He has never let us down or forsaken us but has loved us through it all and His name is Jesus, the Son of God. There’s an old song we use to sing, and it’s called: “What A friend We Have In Jesus!” 

You can never find true friendship until you first find a relationship with the one who gave His life for you when you were not worthy.  St John 15:13 Jesus said: “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” And that’s exactly what Jesus did for us! Jesus is the friend that will stick closer to us than any brother and any other. (Proverbs 18:24 b

But Jesus also told us how we could become His friends in St John 15:14 which said: “Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.” So, when you’re looking for the answer to what makes a friend a friend start by making sure you’re a friend to Jesus. Then, remember to have friends, you must first learn to be a friend yourself. 

Proverbs 18:24a said: “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly:” Bishop Owens once said: “If you find one or two true friends in a lifetime, you’ve found a treasure! Lastly, apply the 7 signs of a true friend that we stated previously, and couple it with the word of God, then reap what you have sown!

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